What Is Dissociation? A Gentle Guide to Understanding and Coping

Written by Dylan Crum, MSW, LSW (he/him)

What is Dissociation?

Dissociation is a common symptom of post-traumatic stress that results in a feeling of

detachment between our thoughts, feelings, memories, surroundings, behavior, and identity.

While some level of detachment can be healthy, dissociation typically impacts our quality of life and ability to function. Dissociation can range from a temporary lapse in awareness (think of “zoning out”) to a full break in identity or ability to access memories. One thing that I would really like to stress is that dissociation is not a “bad” thing, rather it is a survival mechanism that our brain has learned to use in order to protect us.

Learning skills to cope with dissociation is not learning the “right” way to cope with intense feelings, it’s learning ways that we can more effectively engage in our lives and feel safe and empowered.

What are Grounding Skills?

Fortunately, there are many techniques to cope with dissociation that require only the use of our bodies, minds, and some simple supplies. Regardless of the specific technique, any successful attempt at grounding from dissociation will involve reorienting your awareness to what is happening to you in the present moment. Through this reorienting, you are bridging the gap between where your mind has taken you and what is happening right now. This will allow you to cope with your emotions more effectively and work towards solutions to your problems. This post will detail three simple techniques that are highly effective in coping with dissociation.

3 Core Grounding Skills

1. 5-4-3-2-1 Technique

This first technique can be done in virtually any setting with a little bit of practice. The basic gist is that we are trying to identify things that we detect with our five senses. This is started by pairing different numbers with senses, typically according to how difficult it would be to detect different things.

My recommended pairing is as follows:

5 things that I can see

4 things that I can touch/feel

3 things that I can hear

2 things that I can smell

1 thing that I can taste.

Once you have paired the numbers and senses, you will start to observe your immediate

surroundings. As you observe and identify different things in your surroundings, label them. Try not to make judgments about your surroundings, rather continue to make observations. To strengthen your awareness, try to notice different qualities about what you’re observing. Examples of this might include: textures that you’re seeing, the play of light on an object, how sounds are impacted by the objects around you, whether a smell or taste is pleasant or

unpleasant, etc. This process is repeated until you’ve identified things in your surroundings with each sense.

If your mind starts to wander throughout this exercise, this is completely normal. When it

happens, just bring your attention back to your senses. This process can be repeated as many times as necessary. You’ll know that it has been successful if you feel more present and aware of your surroundings. Try to use this energy to engage in self-care activities or fulfilling hobbies.

A video guide to this technique can be found here:

2. Use Temperature to Regulate Your Nervous System

Extreme temperatures have the ability to regulate our nervous system, which is something you might have noticed purely by accident. Ever noticed how much you wake up when faced with a cold breeze? Or how drowsy you might get on a hot summer afternoon? We will be taking advantage of this fact with this next skill. More specifically, the use of cold water can trigger the activation of our sympathetic nervous system (our stress response), which is immediately followed by a relaxation response from our parasympathetic nervous system. This phenomenon is also known as the diving reflex.

In order to apply this skill, you only need a source of cold water. This can be a shower, a bowl of ice water, a cold body of water, etc. When you are feeling the effects of dissociation, either dunk your head in a bowl of cold water, take a cold shower, or splash cold water on your face a few times. It is important to apply cold water to your face, as this will most reliably activate the diving reflex mentioned above. If direct contact with cold water is not accessible to you, try placing ice cubes under your eyes or on the back of your neck.

Fortunately, with this skill we are taking advantage of our body’s natural responses, so not much practice is typically needed to find success.

3. Belly/Diaphragmatic Breathing

Finally, the use of our breath can be very helpful in grounding from dissociation. My personal

favorite breathing technique is belly breathing, which can be used in almost any setting with

enough practice. The use of full, deep breaths that utilize our lung capacity activates the vagus nerve, which plays a big role in regulating our nervous system (and is a core component of the diving reflex mentioned above).

To start, find a comfortable position, either seated or laying down. Place one hand on your chest and one on your stomach. Take a few normal breaths, trying to find your natural breathing rhythm. Once you find this rhythm, notice the rise and fall of both hands as you breath. As you notice this, try to direct all the air during your breaths to your stomach. You will know you’re doing this correctly if the hand on your stomach starts to rise and fall more dramatically, while the hand on your chest stays still. It can be helpful to imagine that there is a balloon in your stomach that you are trying to fill up with each inhale. Breathing in this way will force your lungs to stretch to their capacity and more effectively engage your vagus nerve. As you continue breathing, also notice if your mind starts to wander. As this occurs, use the sensation of your breath to bring you back to the present moment. With practice, this technique will become easier

and bring a stronger calming effect.

A video guide for this technique can be found here:

Resource Spotlight: St. Stephen’s Community House

We know that for many families, it is a struggle to provide a memorable holiday experience for their children. St. Stephen’s Community House is providing assistance in Central Ohio to

families in need. Registration for toys (provided for children aged 12 and younger) and food

boxes is open now via the link below:

https://saintstephensch.org/christmas-cares/

Importance of Addressing Your Trauma History

Written by Rachael Schleich, MSW, LSW (she/her/hers)

We often see clients come in wanting to manage daily stress, looking for coping skills and tools to stay calm, stop spiraling thoughts, and avoid snapping at loved ones. They want to “fix” themselves and quiet their worried minds. While learning coping skills is an important part of therapy, it’s only one piece of the work we do together.

As therapists, we don’t just focus on behaviors; we explore what led to them, what purpose they serve, and how past experiences shape who we are today. Our patterns, reactions, and beliefs develop over years of reinforcement, observation, joy, conflict, and, often, trauma. To truly understand and change maladaptive behaviors, we must understand the whole person.

Through self-exploration, clients and therapists work together to uncover patterns, triggers, and the origins of thoughts and coping mechanisms.

This process often brings trauma into focus. Though “trauma” can sound intimidating, it doesn’t have to be. The American Psychological Association (2025) defines trauma as “any disturbing experience that results in significant fear, helplessness, dissociation, confusion, or other disruptive feelings intense enough to have a long-lasting negative effect on a person’s attitudes, behavior, and other aspects of functioning.” While we often associate trauma with extreme events like war or assault, it can also stem from divorce, toxic relationships, workplace abuse, food insecurity, unstable housing, bullying, car accidents, and so much more.

Trauma isn’t what’s wrong with you, it’s what happened to you.

Recognizing that trauma is common helps us see we’re not alone in our experiences, emotions, or behaviors. Our actions and reactions are reflections of what we’ve been through. By addressing trauma, we gain a deeper understanding of ourselves — how we relate to others, manage distress, and move through the world. When we address the root cause, the symptoms — like anger, anxiety, or conflict — begin to make sense, and healing can begin.

So, coming to therapy isn’t always about more or better tools or skills, sometimes it's

about focusing on what’s underneath the surface. Then, clients are able to present themselves as their best self and in alignment with their values, not just as a reaction to their trauma and what’s happening right now in front of them.

Trauma isn’t your fault, however, it is your responsibility to heal from it. Taking back

control over your emotions, behaviors, and thoughts can boost your self-esteem and

empowerment, improve your relationships, and allow you freedom from what has hurt you.

Resource Spotlight: Mid-Ohio Food Collective

As SNAP benefits have been discontinued, and food is a scarce resource for many all

over Ohio, Valentino Counseling and Consultation encourages donations to the Mid-Ohio Food Collective to ensure all Ohioans don’t go hungry. Food insecurity is a traumatic experience, and can be mitigated through financial donations or food donations.

Please go to https://mofc.org/ to learn how you can help your neighbors this month.

The Vision for Valentino Counseling & Consultation

Written by Laura Valentino, MSW, LISW-S (she/her/hers)

When I first opened Valentino Counseling & Consultation on July 2, 2019, it was just me in a small shared office in Dublin, Ohio. My dream at the time was simple but deeply important: to build a practice where I could show up for clients in a way that felt authentic to who I am as a clinician. I wanted a space where care was guided by compassion, ethics, and evidence, not by productivity quotas or the pressure to monetize healing. To me, therapy has always been about putting the client first, and I’ve carried that belief with me from day one.

At the heart of my (and now our) work is a commitment to trauma-informed and ethical care. We know that real healing happens when clients feel truly seen and heard, so we focus heavily on the human-to-human relationship. Our clinicians are highly trained in evidence-based practices, and we continually invest in ongoing learning to bring the best of the field to our sessions.

Just as important is our commitment to inclusivity. We proudly serve the LGBTQ+ community and people of diverse belief systems, living arrangements, lifestyles, and self-expression. We work hard to create an environment where everyone feels as safe as possible (and we acknowledge that “safe” can mean different things for different people). Above all, we want our clients to feel affirmed and valued for exactly who they are.

Over the years, my solo practice has grown into a team of incredible clinicians who share these same values. Each person brings their own expertise and personality, which has only enhanced the vision I started with. What we’ve built together is more than just a workplace. It’s a supportive, collaborative, often laughter-filled environment. (Folks can likely hear us laughing together in between sessions from the lobby.) That joy translates directly into the care we provide. We’re not only passionate about helping our clients, but we’re also passionate about supporting each other.

Look at this amazing team!

We’re proud to serve the Hilliard and greater Columbus area, and being part of this community is central to our mission. Whether it’s through individual sessions, community outreach, or building connections with local organizations, our goal is to contribute to the overall well-being of the people around us.

The vision that started in that small office in Dublin has grown, but the heart of it hasn’t changed. We’re here to provide competent, compassionate, and affirming care to every person who walks through our doors. As our team continues to grow, so does our capacity to support the community, and that is something I’m endlessly grateful for.

I love this work. I love my team. I love our community and those we serve. Thanks for being here. 

Resource Spotlight: Kaleidoscope Youth Center (KYC Columbus)

KYC is Ohio’s largest nonprofit dedicated to supporting LGBTQIA+ youth and young adults through safe spaces, counseling, leadership programs, and community advocacy. They create affirming environments where young people can connect, learn, and thrive. You can support their mission by donating, volunteering, or sharing their work.

Learn more and donate to this incredible cause, please visit kycohio.org.